Squeezed In: The Sandwich Generation

Are you in a situation where you are caring for your own children and your aging parents at the same time? If so, you are a member of the "sandwich generation" because you are squeezed between the responsibilities of caring for both a younger and older generation.

In today's society, more and more people are finding themselves in the sandwich generation. One reason for this is that people are living longer than they used to, which means there are more elderly people who may need help taking care of themselves (Family Caregivers Online, n.d.). Additionally, many adult children are leaving home at a later age or returning home after moving out due to school and job transitions, financial difficulties, and relationship breakups (Skogrand, et al, 2006).

If you're taking care of your children and your parents simultaneously, you aren't alone. In fact, about 44% of Americans between the ages of 45 and 55 have aging parents or in-laws as well children under age 21 (Epp, n.d.).

What is the effect of being in the sandwich generation?

Being a caregiver in the "sandwich generation" can have an effect on many aspects of a person's life. Following are the most common areas that are affected.

• Finances. Caring for others can result in added financial obligations for the caregiver. For example, they may be responsible for providing food, transportation, housing, or medications.
• Personal relationships. Many couples look forward to the time when their children move out of the house so they can have more freedom and time together. However, for caregivers, this time may not come as quickly as anticipated, which could cause stress on their relationships with both their partner and the person(s) they are caring for. Additionally, children may not like that they have less time with their parents than they once did, or that they have to help with the caregiving duties.
• Free time. The responsibilities involved with caring for others can leave very little, if any, free time to focus on hobbies or other activities that the caregiver may enjoy.
• Job. Trying to balance work with increased pressures at home can be stressful and the caregiver may find it difficult to meet their caregiving responsibilities around their work schedule.
• Health. Caring for others can leave less time for the caregiver to take care of him- or herself. Additionally, the stress of caregiving can contribute to increased health problems.

Considering these factors, it's easy to see how taking care of your own children and aging parents at the same time can be stressful. It can also be emotionally hard to take care of someone you love whose health is ailing.

However, it's important to know that not every aspect of being a caregiver is negative or potentially stressful. Caregiving can strengthen relationships and deepen bonds. It can also teach children the importance of family and show parents that you value and appreciate them.

How can caregivers manage the stress of being in the sandwich generation?
Perhaps you are considering taking care of your aging parents. Or maybe you already are. No matter what your situation, you don't have to go through it alone. Being a caregiver can be a rewarding opportunity if you know how to manage some of the stress that caregiving can bring.

• Look to the community. Many communities have resources that caregivers can make use of such as childcare, home health, or transportation services that may help to ease some of the responsibility of caregiving.
• Enlist the help of friends and family. It can be hard for others to know you need help if you don't ask. Don't be afraid to let others know you if you need their assistance, or assign tasks to other family members.
• Take care of yourself. It's important to make sure you take care of yourself by eating healthfully and getting proper rest and medical care if necessary. It makes it more difficult to care for others if you aren't at your best.
• Look into other options at work. If you're having difficulty trying to juggle your responsibilities at work around your caregiving commitments, talk to your supervisor.
• Nurture your relationships. It's important to make time to devote to your relationships with your partner, friends, and children so they don't suffer as a result of being neglected.

While being in the sandwich generation can be difficult for all involved, it can also be a time to strengthen relationships and show loved ones how much you care for them. If you need further information on resources available in your community, your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) can help you to locate the resources you need to make this time a time to treasure.

References:

Epp, Hanni. (n.d.). The Sandwich Generation. Retrieved July 3, 2007 from the World Wide Web: http://www.caregiverresource.net/materials/Caregiver's%20Corner/CaregiversCorner%20-%20The%20Sandwich%20Generation.htm

Family Caregivers Online. (n.d.). The Sandwich Generation: Work/Life Balance of Child and Elder Caregiving. (Module 14). Retrieved July 10, 2007 from the World Wide Web: http://www.familycaregiversonline.com/family_caregiver_module.asp?module=25&nu=14

Skogrand, L., Henderson, K., and Higginbotham, B. (2006). Sandwich Generation. Utah State University. Retrieved July 2, 2007 from the World Wide Web: http://extension.usu.edu/files/publications/publication/FR_Marriage_2006-01pr.pdf

This material is provided by CIGNA Behavioral Health, Inc. for informational/educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical/clinical advice. Only a healthcare provider can make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment plan. For more information about your behavioral health benefits, you can call the member services or behavioral health telephone number listed on your healthcare identification card.