Personal Space

Written by: Jim Arndt, MS
CIGNA Behavioral Health

Have you ever been in a situation when someone invaded your personal space? The TV show Seinfeld poked fun at this situation, calling the “invader” a “close talker”. The “close talker” was a person who moved in too closely while speaking to another. The show may have made us laugh, but when the situation happens to you it’s a good bet that you won’t be laughing. Feelings of anxiety or feeling just plain uncomfortable will probably be your response.

Does everyone feel this way? What distance is too close? These are some of questions you may wonder about. “Personal space” means the invisible boundaries surrounding an individual, which are maintained in relation to others.

Everyone does have different boundaries for personal space. We set up an invisible protective zone or space surrounding ourselves. This gives us some control of our safety levels when talking to people. These safety levels differ depending on the person. Some prefer conversations from afar compared to some who like to make their point at a closer range. American anthropologist Edward T. Hall developed an interesting theory. He created a field known as “Proxemics”- the study of a person’s behavioral use of space. He has assigned and titled areas of personal space into four distinct zones:

1. The Intimate Zone
   This zone would be considered for whispering and embracing and would encompass 18 inches around your body.
2. The Personal Zone
   This zone would be used for conversing with close friends and would encompass a zone between 18 inches to 4 feet.
3. The Social Zone
   This zone would encompass space of 4 to 10 feet around your body. It would be used for conversing with acquaintances.
4. The Public Zone
   The public zone is used for interacting with strangers. This zone encompasses between 10 to 25 feet.

How would you feel if you were having coffee at a local restaurant and a person you didn’t know sat down at your table and invaded into your personal space? At first you might feel uncomfortable. Your uneasiness might quickly turn to irritation if that person knocked your paper over. This would be a negative example of someone getting into your space. A positive example may be when your child whispers in your ear that he or she loves you. These positive and negative reactions can be displayed in both verbal and non-verbal cues. An example of verbal cues about a negative reaction may include sudden topic changes, or requests to another to back out of one’s personal space. Non-verbal cues can include interrupted eye contact or physically pulling back to safer personal distance. Positive verbal reactions can include a person confiding personal information to someone asking for a hug. Positive non-verbal cues can include the person moving closer, and possibly even making physical contact.

Have you ever wondered what your personal space is? You can test yourself. Ask a friend to start a conversation with you. Try using different distances between you. Start from a distance of five feet and slowly have your friend move closer, a foot at a time. Take notice of your comfort level as the person moves closer. You may start to feel increasingly uncomfortable the closer they get. When they move into the intimate level (18 inches and closer), you may be distracted enough by an uncomfortable feeling that you find it hard to concentrate on what is being discussed in the conversation. You may find that you prefer people well behind the 18-inch intimate distance. For an interesting comparison, try this experiment with a spouse or your child. You’ll probably find that you are more comfortable with their close proximity than with a friend’s.

You may ask, “How can this help me?” Knowing the basics of personal space can help you deal with co-workers, your social life, and family. Internal, non-verbal signs can be identified (for example, loss of concentration or building anxiety). This may allow you to readjust your comfort distances to enhance your conversations. Recognizing these non-verbal cues can help you assess people with whom you are communicating. Seeing that you can move in closer with a co-worker, or realizing that co-worker is feeling uncomfortable with you and then adjusting your proximity can help make your conversations more effective. The ability to know when to “stay away” or “come closer” helps us adjust to new situations.

References:
Hall, E. T. (1966). The Hidden Dimension. New York: Doubleday

This material is provided by CIGNA Behavioral Health, Inc. for informational/educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical/clinical advice. Only a healthcare provider can make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment plan. For more information about your behavioral health benefits, you can call the member services or behavioral health telephone number listed on your healthcare identification card.